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Glossary of Humorous Computer Terms


BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in "My computer cost quite a bit."


BOOT: What your friends want to give you because you spend so much time ragging about your computer.


BUG: What your eyes do after you've been staring at the computer screen for more than five hours.


CHIPS: The fattening food computer user eat, to avoid leaving their keyboards even for meals.


COPY: What your son has to do at school because he spends more time at the computer than studying.


CURSOR: What you turn into when your computer goes haywire, as in "You ~#~a/o&4% computer!"


DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for five hours at a stretch.


DUMP: Where all your former hobbies wind up after you install your computer.


ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to "just look."


EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you built on to your home for your computer and all its peripherals.


FILE: What your secretary does to her nails all day long, now that the computer does her work.


FLOPPY: The condition of a computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food.


HARDWARE: Tools, lawnmowers and rakes you haven't laid a finger on, since getting your computer.


IBM: The missile your family members would like to drop on your computer to have your attention again.


MENU: What you won't see again after buying a computer because you'll be too poor to eat in a restaurant.


MONITOR: Those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school.


PROGRAMS: What you read to see what was on your television before you got hooked on computers.


RAM: What you instinctively do to the side of your computer when it's not doing what it should.


RETURN: What lots of people do with their computers after only a week and a half. Unfortunately it is already out of warranty.


TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers.


WINDOW: What you heave your computer out of.

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